February 17th, 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment
- You've seen Documentaries, Rockumentaries and Mockumentaries, but are you aware of Filmumentaries? Jamie Benning takes watching your favorite films to a new behind the scenes level, this time with my personal favorite movie of all time, Raiders of the Lost Ark. Dig it.
- More film fun! See how many times through it takes you to name all of these movies, A to Z. I watched it 3 times, I'm still missing two letters.
- Paul Krugman's op-ed in the Times today tries to tackle why people vote against their self interests. I think he misses an important reason that's tough to quantify but I think is nevertheless true: People vote Republican because they think someday they (or their children) will be rich enough to take advantage of their gamed system. I think this is largely unconscious and people who participate in this behavior often wouldn't quantify it in this way, but I think it's an actual thing. I mean, it can't all be wedge issues, the gays and lady parts aren't that scary.
- I've long been calling Romney 'inevitable'. And as much as I love the dog and pony show, I always want the opposition to run somewhat not totally batshit, because what if they win? I could always move to Toronto, but I don't think the BDGF would survive the cold. Anyway, I thought Romney was not so bad. Outside of the magic underwear thing, the guy is so malleable that he probably wouldn't be the worst President in the world. Now I'm starting to waver, because you won't believe the example of talking out of both sides of one's mouth I'm about to lay on you: Mittens was against the bailout of the auto industry. Big time. Said to let Detroit go bankrupt and kept saying it, this despite every reasonable person in the world saying that IN HINDSIGHT even, this was a rousing success. Then IN DETROIT he gets up, IN PUBLIC, and takes credit for GM being profitable. Who the fuck does this guy think he is?
- Finally, the blog will be an empty plain filled with nothing but tumbleweeds next week as I head to the great American Southwest for a much needed respite from the grind of the working week. We struggle with where to go every year, because the BDGF wants nothing more than to be able to wear dresses and be warm, and I'd rather stay home and go to work than spend a bunch of money to go to some resort and have forced interaction with Biff and Wendy from Pecoima. So we try and find somewhere South that has actual culture and a nightlife and things to do. Year one was Austin, which was fairly perfect outside of the one day that it snowed (for the first time in Austin in 30 years). Year two we hit LA, where we still had to wear coats outside and crank the heater to put the top down on the convertible. This year we'll be in PHX and Las Vegas, checking out the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam as we ferry between the two. Please please please let it be above 70 while we are there. I have no doubt that one of these years I will have to bite the bullet and end up somewhere in the Caribbean where nothing is open after 10pm, but if I can get a week of highs of 77, I might be able to kick that ball down the road a while longer.
Posted 10:37am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 16th, 2012
- More Craig Finn... Playing NPR's Tiny Desk and Minnesota Public Radio.
- And so that the BDGF's other crush doesn't get jealous over qualms of equal time, Jack White has a new video and solo tour dates. I wonder if his tour bus is a hearse since he clearly spends daylight hours sleeping in a coffin.
- Sleigh Bells new album Reign of Terror is streaming over at the NYTimes. Well la di da...
- If I were to tell you that Bill Cosby covered "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" and it was even awesomer than what you are imagining in your brain right now, would you listen? You better.
- Want a Super Bowl halftime show that will rock your face? Vote for Weird Al.
- Finally, last night's Love Hangover was a rousing success. Here's a picture to prove it happened:
If and when video gets posted, it will be appeneded here. That's of course assuming that it's not a total train wreck of embarassment. Cross your fingers...
Update 12:57pm
Videos are up! Two of Us and Punk Rock Girl.
Posted 11:08am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 15th, 2012
What's making Baby Jesus cry this week? Crazy Catholic edition
I wouldn't say that growing up Catholic made me an Atheist - that was probably inevitable. I do think that you could make a cogent argument that it hastened the process. How they can teach you the rampant hypocrisy and corruption that has existed in the institution of the Church throughout its history and NOT expect you to say 'Fuck all this' is beyond me.
So while I love railing against all religious hypocrisy, there's a special place in my heart when it comes to the Catholic church. There's an extra gear of ire to get into. The past couple of weeks, the Catholics have been firing on all cylinders, and my dander is up people. Let's go to the tape.
- If you're institutionally raping young boys for decades, you'd think the least you owed them and society at large is an apology. Well Cardinal Egan would like you to know that if he did apologize, he shouldn't have and he takes it back. The power of Christ compels him!
- We talked last week about religious morality being arbitrary at the end of the day, and that's never more true when looking at politicians. Just so happens that the two biggest d-bags vying for the GOP nomination are both Catholic. Here's ten specific ways Gingrich and Santorum are picking and choosing to be pious. Enjoy the buffet.
- Here's Maureen Dowd on the rise of exorcisms in the the Catholic church. 'Nuff said.
- Finally, the Catholics are going to the mattresses over the birth control mandate upcoming as health care reform is implemented. Now I have a problem with religious institutions being tax exempt, and you know, I believe the science when it empirically tells me the societal advantages of giving women access to birth control, but I'm not Jesus, and apparently he differs with me. And I imagine that he doesn't care that most Catholics agree with me and the Obama administration. Here's Gail Collins laying out the argument, including an anecdote about women using birth control being no better than common street whores. Stay classy, Catholics.
Posted 11:51am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 14th, 2012
It's a super busy week here at tbaggervance.com. Today is Valentine's, tomorrow is the Love Hangover, and on Friday, we head off for a week's vacation. So we are feeling a little overwhelmed. But not so much that we can't wish you, dear readers, a Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm always for telling the people you love that you love them. It's something that you pretty much can't do too much. OK you can, but that's probably the least of your problems if that's becoming an issue. But I digress. Tell your kids you love them, because otherwise you're just a mean old man. Here's my Valentine's card to them:
My nerdiness knows no bounds.
Of course tell your partner you love them too. They put up with you and all of your awfulness. You don't deserve them and they should not only know that you appreciate them for who they are, but for the fact that they tolerate you, because you know you're a piece of work. I love my BDGF and I'm pretty sure she knows it. I used to blanche at the word partner because it seemed sterile and an overly PC way to play the pronoun game, but the BDGF has made me rethink it. Mostly because with her it makes sense - she's my partner in the very best sense of the word. We do everything together, hand in hand, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Oh, and I made her a card too, but she hasn't seen it yet, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see it. Happy Valentine's one and all.
Posted 10:19am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 13th, 2012
In my penchant for being a cranky old man that longs for the day when I can yell at children to get off my lawn, I love warning the children that they will never get away with anything. I tell them that they are in the unenviable position of having young parents who have already tried everything that they could possibly conceive of, and thus are hyper aware of the ins and outs of getting away with it. My parents were old and slow and tired and I still managed to get caught being colossally dumb during my teenage years, because teenagers are inherently dumb and overconfident. Eventually, with persistence, you can out fox your elders through sheer force of will, breaking them down over time. However, without a generation gap to distance you from what your parents imagine your possibilities and resources are, this becomes more difficult.
This of course depends somewhat on your definition of "getting away with it". A lot of the time, all you want is the experience, consequences be damned. I participated in a lot of foolish behavior knowing damn well that I'd be caught eventually, but not until the so called damage was done. This is much more possible than getting off scott free, even for those with hyper vigilant parents who have a working understanding of technology. It's a sucker punch to a much more powerful adversary - you got your shot in, and now you are going to pay for it.
This is a willing trade for someone in my situation growing up. Of course the upside of having young parents is that the rule of asking forgiveness rather than permission does not generally apply. Understanding the paradigm the way we do, we're willing to concede a level of stupidity if we feel we can cover it with an overarching umbrella of safety. It's the choice between calling your parents to come get you when you've been drinking vs. driving anyway and hoping you get home with no one being the wiser. These are the choices we want to avoid ever being made. Because make no mistake about it, you will be found out, one way or another.
- Take these assholes. Regular readers know tbaggervance.com's feelings towards sweatpants, and we make no exception for those made to look like you're some sort of hipster douche bag executive. Wearing sweatpants outside of the house makes you look like a homeless person. End of story.
- Take this asshole. What chance does a women hating, war mongering homophobe have of winning an election when this is his stance on freedom:
This whole idea of personal autonomy, well I don't think most conservatives hold that point of view. Some do. They have this idea that people should be left alone, be able to do whatever they want to do, government should keep our taxes down and keep our regulations low, that we shouldn't get involved in the bedroom, we shouldn't get involved in cultural issues. You know, people should do whatever they want. Well, that is not how traditional conservatives view the world and I think most conservatives understand that individuals can’t go it alone. That there is no such society that I am aware of, where we’ve had radical individualism and that it succeeds as a culture.
That's Rick Santorum noting that the government has every right to peek into your bedroom. Screw individual freedom. Welcome to the new GOP.
Posted 1:47pm
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 10th, 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment
- In celebration of Prop 8 suffering another Death Blow, here's the best anti- Prop 8 posters. In honor of Washington getting a step closer to marriage equality, here's Howard Stern defending gay people. Seriously.
- In honor of two of my favorite TV shows: here's two Archer soundboards and some free advice from Ron Swanson.
- Thankfully, I have a fake 8 year old daughter who loves Star Wars so I don't have to hem and haw about whether or not to see Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace in 3D this weekend. Of course we're going - she's never seen ANY Star Wars movie in a theater! How EXCITING! Sadly, she'll never get to see the original trilogy in its original glory, but sadder still is that George Lucas is still trying to justify his "Greedo shot first" retconning of one of the greatest heroes in the history of cinema. Now he's saying it was always this way. He's clearly a not well individual.
- When the original Spider-man came out way back in 2002, I thought it was pretty perfect. So I also thought it was also pretty dumb to reboot the franchise a mere 10 years later. Then I saw the new trailer and a day later I'm still trying to hide my nerd boner. This looks totally like the Spider-man ethos I grew up with. And plus, at the end of the day, it's more comic book movies, why would I ever be against that?
- Finally, this is next Wednesday:
My son has recently decided to become a full fledged teenager, which means everything sucks and everyone is stupid and thus he will not be performing with me this year. In his stead, I got the BDGF and Markie C to join me and help focus attention away from my crappy guitar playing (plus Chermack Chermack on bass to completely spackle over my shoddy musicianship). We go on at 7, so get there early.
Posted 10:30am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 9th, 2012
This week in Indie Rock - You should never meet your heroes edition.
This is Craig Finn:
He's normally the frontman for the band The Hold Steady. He's not famous. He's 40 and kind of schlubby. But I love him. And so does the BDGF.
Last night we went and saw him perform his new solo album at a tiny hipster bar in Detroit. With barely over a 100 people in the place, we were able to get right up front and as anyone who had an HDTV in the early days before they figured out how to put the makeup on right will tell you, there's such a thing as too much clarity.
Craig spits when he sings. Not on purpose, but he's forceful into the mic and often times that's accompanied by large plumes of saliva. The BDGF cringed with every speck of spittle. He also got completely hammered half way through the show. He kept looking at the crowd like Nicholson in The Shining. He completely stopped playing his guitar. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Finn is a professional and the set sounded great, but it was perhaps a tad too intimate.
After the performance the BDGF rushed over to get an autograph, and he took her hand, called her sweet, and led her to the back of the club where he set up to greet the fans, giving her a guitar pick as they walked back. The fantasy of making out with Craig may have died in his spit soaked microphone screen, but I think the small interaction went a long way to putting the bloom back on the rose.
- Things to watch:
- Nada Surf on Fallon
- Wilco on ACL
- The Black Keys new video for "Gold on the Ceiling"- Finally, the BDGF's secondary crush may be a spit talker and her main one may be slowly turning into Lestat, but we will always celebrate both of their musical endeavors. Here's a list of the 13 best Jack White collaborations and listen to his new song, "Machine Gun Silhouette".
Posted 11:08am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 8th, 2012
Yesterday, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals decided legally what we all know to be true in our hearts:
Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples.
I've read a lot of analysis that argues that wording in the decision is very narrow and not only makes the decision apply specifically to California, but gives the Supreme Court enough cover to deny even hearing the case. But we here at tbaggervance.com are not here to be the Debbie Downers of the internet. Victory is ours. Let us rejoice.
This blog deals a lot with what it considers to be hypocrisy. Particularly when it comes with a religious bent. There's a lot of inconsistencies in the Bible, and that's putting it extremely benevolently. I think it's somewhat possible analytically to resolve the paradoxes that exist between the old and new testament, but how then do you not consider any evidence of the intervening 2,000 years? At the end of the day you are arbitrarily picking and choosing your morality, and/or listening to authority figures that have a very status quo agenda.
I suppose that's fine for your personal existence. I'm no fan of a nanny state and your business isn't mine much less the government's. But we're talking about giving someone second class citizen status for who they inherently are. How does that not make you angry? If it doesn't, who are you to say, in a plural society, that you are the best arbiter of doling out inalienable rights? Remember, the basis of your morality is inconsistent, paradoxical and ultimately flawed.
I know we are on the right side of history and the fight has already been won, but I still get upset about it. I hate that I live in a country where this isn't rote and de rigueur and a no-brainer. It is frustrating to exist in a world where analytical thought, the scientific method and cogent analysis don't rule the day. And I said I wasn't going to be Debbie Downer.
But hey! We won! Bill O'Reilly is apoplectic, and that's always a good sign. And yes, ljv, Ted Olsen has a huge hand in this. To quote a famous boxer, "If I can change, and you can change, we all can change." Remember, he beat Ivan Drago.
Posted 1:27am
permalink - comments (3)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 7th, 2012
Tuesdays are for politickin' - You're doing it wrong edition
- We live in amazing times. Not only does the internet take time wasting to a whole new level that would be unimaginable to even our younger selves, but it can effect actual change in the world. All of that and I haven't even mentioned the porn! But I digress. From regime change in the Middle East to stopping SOPA and PIPA in their tracks, the internet provides information dissemination and a rallying cry to action in a way never before possible. The best, most recent example of this is Planned Parenthood vs. The Komen Foundation. The internet's righteous indignation over Komen's overtly political decision not only immediately replaced the pulled funds of the Foundation with small, grassroots donations, but eventually got the foundation to reverse its decision. That's a beautiful thing. Guess what side of the 'debate' Mittens Romney came down on? To be fair, that was his position yesterday. Give it time.
- Yes, it's going to be a day dedicated to GOP stupidity. In several caucuses/popularity contests today, guess who is poised to surge? After he toured a sweater vest factory! And no, that's not even from the Onion.
- Speaking of ineffectual, more evidence that sex education (or lack thereof) is not getting the job done in red states. Apparently adhering to the 'ostrich method' works just as well around horny teenagers as it does in the wild.
- If you weren't watching the Super Bowl in Michigan last Sunday, you might have missed Republican Senate candidate Pete Hoekstra's racist, xenophobic campaign ad. There's nothing like a bit of actual racism to make me feel bad about all the times I make fun of my son for being an asian stereotype.
- Finally, no matter where you watched the game, chances are you saw the Clint Eastwood "It's Halftime in America" ad for Chrysler. And if you're scene was anything like ours, you were chanting "USA! USA!" after it. Clint's not only an American icon, all-time bad ass and renaissance man, he's also an authority figure. He's going to tell you the truth, and then no matter how bad it is, remind you to do the right thing and be a man about it. Or more importantly in the parlance of the commercial, be an American about it. It's powerful stuff. Especially around Detroit, a very proud city that yearns to be great again. Of course several Republicans want to demonize this as an Obama campaign ad (despite the facts) precisely because it's so effective. The problem being, it doesn't fit their narrative. It should, it's a typically Republican sentiment, but it lacks that notable derision that they can't live without. Well I've got some advice for Karl Rove and anyone else in the GOP who wants to whine about corporations 'using our tax dollars to buy corporate advertising" that shills for the president: shut up and be a man about it. Be an American.
Posted 10:40am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 6th , 2012
What's making Baby Jesus cry this week?
- I eschewed Parks and Recreation for the longest time because I thought it was dumb. I tried to watch it a couple of times because the entirety of the internet assured be it was awesome, but every time I tried I found myself colossally bored. So I decided to give it one more serious college try and internet, I owe you an apology. You were right, I was wrong. Specifically, I love Ron Swanson. I have unknowingly been modeling my work persona on him for over a decade. Please enjoy Nick Offerman and his wife Megan Mullaly performing a country song about a Paleontologist falling for a Creationist. You had me at meat tornado.
- Three of my favorite people live in the black mining hills of South Kadota, so I put them in charge of policing this potential stupidity so that is doesn't spiral out of control. I encourage academic study of the Bible, as you can't really understand History or Art without it, but let's be honest, this is a stupid loophole.
- Speaking of stupid state governments, Pennsylvania unanimously declared 2012 The Year of the Bible. I'm not sure how the approximately 50 Chinese people in Pennsylvania feel about this, because if you ask them, I'm pretty sure it's the year of the dragon. I'm also pretty sure every founding father would call this a violation of the Constitution.
- There are still heroes in the world - the asshat State senator form Tennessee who authored the 'Don't Say Gay" bill and spouts fallacies about HIV was recently denied service at a local restaurant because, well he's an idiot and a bigot. Kudos ma'am.
- I'm not exactly sure who Baby J would feel about erotic Bible fan fiction, but I can guess.
- Finally, in typical 'turn the other cheek', 'whatever you do to the least of my people', 'Christian compassion' fashion, the girl who had a prayer banner removed from her school is getting death threats. Stay classy zealots, Baby Jesus is watching...
Posted 10:50am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 3rd, 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment
- Welcome to another Drum Fill Friday! Fear for the future of humanity by watching how colossally stupid American teenagers are! Or if you are like me, write down every question in the video and then take them home to ask your own teenagers to answer them to restore your faith. Please please please restore my faith...
- Two things on the horizon: The Oscars are February 26th and The Hamtramck Blowout starts Feb. 29th. Ann Arborites can enter Quality 16's annual Oscar contest here, and those with rock and roll in their hearts can peep the Blowout's lineup here.
- I expect Ann Arbor and the University of Michigan to end up fairly high on most lists ranking intellectual prowess and general secular awesomeness, but being in the 19 most fun-loving colleges was pleasantly surprising. I was similarly impressed with my home state in these charts of "Is Your State on the Right Side of History?" until I got all the way down to gay marriage. Come on Michigan, we're better than that.
- Mitt Romney may be breathing a little easier after winning Florida and his pending status of 'inevitable' may finally start getting etched in stone. Too bad for him that this is happening at the same time the other 'inevitable' is coming to fruition - the economy is gaining momentum. They're really gonna run against his record? Listen, I'm no sycophant, there's issues out there to exploit, but what's your case? Foreign policy? Bin Laden's dead and we're ending wars and changing regimes without losing soldiers. The economy? The stimulus and bailouts worked and things are turning around. I guess you can try and outflank him on social issues, hoping that progressives think he hasn't done enough, because otherwise his policies are with the majority. I watched Romney's victory speech Tuesday, and I got news for him, you can't lie in a debate with the President the way you can to Floridian septuagenarians. I'm starting to prepare myself to enjoy this...
- Finally, the Superbowl is Sunday. I for one welcome the opportunity for Captain Dreamboat to win his fourth Superbowl and forever shut the door on who is the greatest quarterback of all time. Of course for those of you who give two shits about the game, don't forget that there's still copious amounts of bad food to eat, booze to guzzle and commercials to watch. Like this Ferris Bueller update and Avengers preview. Hopefully things get more interesting than that.
Posted 10:46am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 2nd, 2012
- First off, it's Groundhog Day, which is political, since whether or not Puxatawny Phil sees his shadow is decided by a small Pennsylvanian aristocracy. They decided he did, so six more weeks of winter, which who cares: it's going to be 47 tomorrow. But I digress, because we buried the lead about GH Day: it takes place at Gobblers Knob. True story. Now get out there and try and make that stick as someone's nickname.
- For those nostalgic for elections of yore, I give you the trailer for HBO's Game Change. Looks nostalgically awesome! Remember hating Palin?
- Washington moves forward on gay marriage. Hooray! I haven't been so proud of you guys since grunge.
- Fox should know better than to screw with a frog and a pig. They don't have the wit, much less the intellectual firepower.
- In the bucklingest of buckling moves, the Komen Foundation is backing out of Planned Parenthood. To tell these people to go fuck themselves, please donate to Planned Parenthood.
- Finally, Florida did something right for once and sounded the death knell for America's least favorite bridge troll, Newt Gingrich. So, let us begin the vetting process of one Willard Mittens Romney. What do we like? He was the Republican governor of a hugely liberal state, where he seemed to bend to the will of the people and compromise, including passing a universal health care law NEARLY IDENTICAL to that of President Obama. Of course that's not how he's running for president, so let's talk about the things we don't care for:
1. He's mormon. Like really, really, mormon. Which means we can assume he hates gays and women and wears magic underwear.
2. He's rich. Disgustingly, ill-gotten rich. In fact, if you took the wealth of every President from Nixon to Obama and DOUBLED it, Romney would still have more cash.
3. That's mildly palatable for most people, except he thinks that corporations are people, that $300,000 is not that much money, makes $10,000 bets on a whim and oh, he's "not concerned about the very poor."
4. When asked to defend that statement, he said it's not that he doesn't care, it's that he's not going to do anything for them.
5. He once pulled a Griswold and strapped his dog to the roof of his car for a 12 hour trip.The guy's a piece of shit. Of course he's probably the least of all evils in the GOP field. Were he to be elected, history shows he could be swayed to the side of public opinion more often than not. (Now all we have to worry about is public opinion.) However, I keep seeing this meme show up, and when I first heard it proffered by the BDGF a month ago, I immediately knew it to be true: Willard is John Kerry. Enjoy Republicans!
Posted 10:33am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 1st , 2012
Wormer... dead. Niedermeyer... dead. Cornelius...
I'm pretty sure Soul Train was my first foray into Black culture. For all I know Don Cornelius was the first black person I ever saw. Growing up in the late '70s and early '80s in very rural Ohio with no cable TV, my exposure to what was going on in the world was limited at best. Not that I cared that much, all I really wanted was the four hours of respite offered to me by Saturday morning cartoons.
Do they even exist anymore? Saturday morning cartoons were literally the center of my existence for the first ten years of my life. Before Nickelodeon and Disney, it was the only block of programming designed for my demographic. It seems strangely sad to me that they might not even exist anymore, much less be something that kids look forward to for six days a week. But I digress.
After Saturday morning cartoons were over, I would desperately scan the 6 channels we got looking for anything that would occupy my brain for just a tad longer. This usually ended up being some old Vincent Price movie on the Saturday Afternoon Double Creature Feature, but not before a brief pause up the dial to see what was going down on Soul Train.
I do remember, even at the time, unworldly as I was, thinking that it seemed dated. Like it wasn't just another part of the world featuring people who I had nothing in common with, but from a different age. A bygone era of disco, bell bottoms and people being smooth yet funky. Like a black Saturday Night Fever. Clearly this a confused remembrance tied up in nostalgia crossed wires. Chances are I saw my sister's copy of the SNF soundtrack, saw that people on Soul Train wore similar clothes and equated the two. Who knows.
In any event, Don Cornelius passed away yesterday. I always paused on Soul Train because I wanted to hear Don's voice, even for a second. It blew my mind that anyone sounded like that in real life. I couldn't wrap my brain around the music and the clothes made it seem like every Saturday was Halloween, but I knew that Don Cornelius was cool. Thanks for that, even if I'd be nothing but disappointed several years later when I started meeting actual black people and found out they weren't all so silver tongued and smooth.
Posted 10:34am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 30th , 2012
For my BDGF, who loves another.
This is Jack White:
Early on in the BDGF and I's relationship we divulged our celebrity sexceptions and Jack was at the top of her list.* I for one was thrilled. Not only do I love Jack's music, not only is he a guitar god and from the city of Detroit, but he looks like a ghoul. No one would be surprised to find out he sleeps in a coffin and suffers from a vitamin D deficiency. I'm sure he's been mistaken for Johnny Depp's derelict cousin more than once. He can play guitar and sing and I get that those abilities are inherently sexy, but I imagine a guy who looks like that trying to pick up my BDGF and laugh.
The BDGF never got to see in concert the reason she fell for Jack in the first place, The White Stripes, and I wish I could find a DeLorean or TARDIS to make that happen for her. I imagine that some day Jack the Huckster will need either the money or attention that a White Stripes reunion could afford him, and when that happens we'll be there at every show within a day's driving radius. Until then I offer her this:
Jack White Announces Solo Album
The new single is on his website, the album out April 24th. Enjoy my sweet. I'll be there to catch you as you swoon at every show. If you make it back stage, you're on your own.
*for the record, she also gets Craig Finn (who goes to church!), I get Neko Case and Tom Brady. The BDGF may be far better looking than I and much more likely to charm the pants off her crushes, but pasty white guys and people who get out of bed on Sunday mornings to go to church I don't sweat.
Posted 2:24pm
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 27th , 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment.
- Side by side comparisons are often illuminating. Take the tax returns of Obama, Romney and Gingrich. Takeaway - Newt is a stingy douche. But I suppose we all knew that. You can also look at the tax rates in America going all the way back to Eisenhower. If the GOP wants to go back to the good ol' days, then they should at least, for consistency's sake, have to go back to the tax rates in place at the time too.
- There's new songs from The Boss and Brendan Benson online. The former is surprisingly good, the latter surprisingly meh (if you can be surprising and meh at the same time).
- The BDGF brought up this Stephen Colbert interview with Maurice Sendak three times over the last couple of days, so I finally had to watch it. Hear Maurice say "Newt Gingrich is an idiot of great reknown." It's worth your time.
- More video? Here's 50 years of Doctor Who in 10 minutes, 10 misconceptions debunked and How Return of the Jedi should have ended. 10.
- Finally, for Dr. Walker, Liebs, the Sumersquales and my BDGF (who actually found this) - Mythbusters Photo Hunt. Another round of Vodka Sodas please...
Posted 10:55am
permalink - comments (5)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 26th , 2012
What's making Baby Jesus cry this week?
- I read about this girl who got a prayer banner removed from her school under the auspices of separation of church and state and had my typical two point reaction: 1. Good for her and atheism 2. I bet she was insufferable about it and probably should have left well enough alone. THEN I read the reaction of the guy who originally wrote the prayer:
I am upset, disappointed, and not to say, outraged. It's a shame that some judge with an appointment out of a Cracker Jack box can make a ruling like that.
She also had to leave school due to threats. So I apologize Jessica for ever assuming you were insufferable. Your are 100% bad ass awesome.
- I know we already eulogized Santorum, but since this isn't a political context but rather a religious one - just know that his advisers think that it is against God's will that I woman be president. It will always be the 1950s somewhere..
- I'm told that this is real and not a parody. It's a fairly tongue in cheek thing either way, but note the following:
1. It's the girl who's all horned up and the guy, in violation of the immutable laws of the universe, who says no.
2. They're clearly getting married the week after high school graduation, so good luck with those odds. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET MARRIED JUST SO YOU CAN HAVE SEX.
3. They clearly elude to fucking stuffed animals in lieu of sex.- Tennessee is once again going the ostrich route on homosexuality, bringing back their "Don't say gay" bill to prevent school children from learning that the gays exist. I'm pretty sure this is why Will and Grace is no longer on the air.
- Here's a bit of refreshing honesty - a bunch of religious leaders don't want gay marriage to be legal because then we could call them what they are - bigots. Where do we get off?
- I love this girl too. When a local printer refused to print her non-offensive, tolerance boosting t-shirt, she not only found someone else to do it, but made sure that all of the other clubs in her school that normally do business with the printer knew about it. Where's your messiah now, eh?
- Not only do these Minnesota parents want "pray away the gay" therapy to be taught in their schools, they also want HIV/AIDS to be called "Gay-related Immune Deficiency", which is about as forward thinking as calling black people 'colored' as a sign of respect.
- Finally, here's a video that shows the relative size of our universe. I post here because wow is it impressive and when you see it like this, it's a little easier to wrap your brain around.
Posted 11:47am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 25th , 2012
Political unrest and rebellion.
Tyrants must be opposed. 'Tis true that a small band of rebels cannot only come together and take movement to groundswell and effect change, it's the only thing that ever has. Of course I'm talking about Star Wars. The SOTU was nice. I loved the tone and most of the ideas. But I don't fee like getting into at the moment. LJV's recent posts in comments section have left me frustrated. Clearly there's a class of citizens out there willing to vote for Newt Gingrich of all people. These people are obtuse, pig headed, obstinate and wholly unaware, either through ignorance or the blinders of the media they consume, as to both what has happened in this country under the current administration and what's at stake going forward. So instead, Star Wars!
- I'm not sure what level of fandom it takes to sit through Star Wars Uncut - a version of the original film completely sweded by fans on the internet 15 seconds at a time - but whatever it is, I'm clearly just over the bar. Well, I only half paid attention, so maybe I hit the bar but it stayed on its post.
- This week in Star Wars fan art - Minimalist movie posters and Lando Calrissian on a 40. Don't let the smooth taste fool ya.
- This week in Star Wars fan video - Darth Draper and dogs do the Star Wars theme? I'm not quite sure what the latter is, but it supposedly means Star Wars Super Bowl commercials, of which I am in favor.
- Here's a real life exchange between what I imagine in my head is Ned Flanders and the Comic Book Guy. Or say a really PG version of a scene from Clerks.
- Here's a reasonable parsing of why Star Wars and Star Trek are better than each other. I mean it's fair attempt, because Lightsabers, Darth Vader and the Millennium Falcon win anything in a walk.
- Finally, George Lucas claims to be retiring from big budget filmmaking, in no small part due to the fact that people on the internet are mean. To which I say, WE DID IT YOU GUYS! You see, a small group of rebels CAN affect change in this world. Remember that the next time someone tells you it can't be done and you soldier on. May the Force be with You.
Posted 10:25am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 24th , 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment - Happy Anniversary Edition!
Five years. Don't they go by in a blink. That's 770 things that have made me smile over half a decade. The blog getting older and reaching milestones has the exact same effect as my kids doing it - I feel old and tired. I mean, write 100 words about a thousand different things that make you happy. It'd probably take just over 6 years. I didn't intend on doing it, but sometime a year and a half from now, I'll have done it. I'll be contacting Stan Lee for my no prize. Let's get crackin'...
- I am in love with Ann Arbor. I've felt it since I first stepped foot on campus. And I just found out that 2/3rds of its residents aren't religiously affiliated! The hits just keep on coming. Like President Obama making his second trip here on Friday. He'll be speaking about making college affordable, so I'm going to suggest the Wondertwins listen up, as that's a subject very, very important to them all too quickly.
- While A2 routinely makes any list of the best college towns, I find it hilarious that I've been to almost a third of the towns listed as the absolute worst places to go to school. Yes, Albion, Ada and South Bend are collective pits and I pity anyone who had to matriculate there. But come on, no love for West Lafayette? The only fun thing to do there is pack up and leave.
- Wormer... dead. Niedermeyer... dead. Paterno... Well as usual, The Onion pretty much sums it up.
- Following up on yesterday's harangue of "Newt Gingrich is an ass faced weasel whose hypocrisy knows no bounds", Gingrich, while an admitted pot smoker, once tried to make bringing 2 ounces of pot into America an offense punishable by death. It shouldn't surprise, this man's personal philosophy is, and I quote: ‘It doesn’t matter what I do. People need to hear what I have to say’. No foolin'. Oh,and this:
- Finally, Oscar noms are out this morning. Big up yourself to the Academy for nominating Melissa McCarthy for her role in Bridesmaids and Bret McKenzie for "Man or Muppet". Shame for not giving Albert Brooks his own big ups for Drive. I've got some movies to see between now and February 26th.
Posted 10:29am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 23rd , 2012
Newt Gingrich crushed in South Carolina over the weekend. A fact that I laughed off on Saturday. I mean, it's South Carolina. To not laugh off anything they do is practically a tacit affirmation of racism. There have been three primaries/caucausi and we now have three separate winners. All according to the GOP's obvious self-destructive plan. But then I saw this and I had two thoughts: The first was Mitt Romney as Jon Lovitz as Michael Dukakis looking into the camera and going "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy!" and the second was an image of myself drunk and cowering in the fetal position as John Roberts swears in President Newt.
Don't get me wrong, I still maintain that without an economic collapse or some other unforeseen catastrophe, Obama is Parker Lewis*. I said it 18 months ago and I still believe it to be just as true today if not more so. I mean we're talking about a fat headed hypocrite blowhard who's about as likeable as the powertripping weasel who used to manage the Subway you worked at in high school. This is a guy who tried a sitting President in the media for getting a BJ and then cries foul for the media's intrusion into his personal life. A man who decries big government while raking in 'consulting' cash from Fannie Mae. The first Speaker of the House to be disciplined for ethics violations. The kind of a man who asks his wife for an open marriage six months AFTER he checks the box marked yes.
Now I love this country and while most of the time I think we are collectively about as smart as box of hammers, I don't think that even an indifferent America elects this fuckstick to be President, much less one that's starting to climb back out of the muck and mire. But then I remember one chilling fact that sends fear shooting down my spine and reminds me that are we capable of unspeakable evils: George W. Bush was elected to the highest office in this country. Twice. And when my liberal voice screams back "He was never elected the first time!" I know that the fact remains that he was still President for 8 years. Sometimes I wonder how I sleep at night.
* he can't lose. I hate footnoting that, but I have to be reminded from time to time that my remembrances of obscure pop culture are not universal.
Posted 11:05am
permalink - comments (5)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 20th , 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment.
- It's Drum Fill Friday! Take this super easy quiz to celebrate and see if it doesn't make you want to listen to "Hot For Teacher".
- Many years ago, Class 'A' asshole Jack Valenti created the MPAA and steered them into decision after decision that was not only managerially stupid, but had negative impact on the filmgoing public. We can't go into all of them, let's just say that A.) He created the movie rating system wherein some housewife in Burbank decides how much boob a 13 year old can see and B.) He's so scared of technology he once compared the VCR to the Boston Strangler. True story. Unfortunately Hollywood has money, and since this guy used to lick LBJ's boots, they let him peddle their influence, no matter how backward and insular his understanding of the world was. He's dead now, so that's over. But he has a new champion in Chris Dodd, former blow hard senator and current head of the MPAA. Like his mentor Valenti, Dodd is showing an outstanding lack of understanding about technology. First he goes on record as calling Wednesday's blackout "irresponsible", and then threatens to take Hollywood's money away from the President if he doesn't support SOPA. Three words: delusions of grandeur.
- I'm fairly happy with the era I got to be a college student in. The music was good, illicit substances were readily available and the internet was so young that we could still run the naked mile at the end of the year. But I'm pretty sure there weren't people filming porn in their dorm rooms. I think I would have heard about it.
- I wasn't going to do this, but Monday was MLK day, and yes, there is still plenty of hatred and ignorance in America. If you see any of these people, plead with them not to procreate.
- Finally, while the GOP field (what remains of it) is so uninspiring I'd never vote for anyone but Obama later this year, I'd like to see him do a thing or two to get me excited about the prospect. I'm not holding out for him to make a declarative stance on gay marriage or anything, as Mr. Nuance just gradually evolves over time, hopefully in my direction. I am happy he nixed this awful pipeline idea, but of course they could reroute the thing and it could pass, so just putting the toe over the line of status quo. Natch.
Posted 11:57am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 19th , 2012
OK, so the thing was on its deathbed to begin with, but yesterday's coordinated blackout seems to have worked. People are certainly more aware today than they were yesterday, and congressmen are dropping their support faster than if the thing was just endorsed by Hitler. Of course the issue isn't dead. The idea of copyright infringement didn't just go away, and the people with deep pockets who want this issue addressed will not take their ball and go home. So we'll continue to talk about it here at tbaggervance.com. We will stay vigilant. We will remain indefatigable. Because otherwise, James Burrows could shut us down tomorrow for using the above image.
- One of my biggest pet peeves is people wearing sweats in public. I got so disgusted walking through an airport years years back that I came up with this little diddy that continues to infect my brain to this day:
If you're gonna leave the house don't wear sweats [clap clap]
If you're gonna leave the house don't wear sweats [clap clap]
If you're gonna leave the house then have some self respect
If you're gonna leave the house don't wear sweats [clap clap]Sing it to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it..." next time you're in a public place and people don't have the common decency to get dressed before walking out the front door. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer to live in a civilized society - one were people don't bring babies to bars or on airplanes, where people let you get off the elevator before forcing their way on, and one were people don't wear sweats, spandex or pajamas in public. That's why despite my disdain for the nanny state, I am 100% on board with this. Otherwise, before you know it we'll be living in some sort of Lord of the Flies dystopia.
- As long as were discussing politics, one last hurrah for Santorum, because A.) As a kid he was McLovin'. and B.) this headline: Revealed: Wife of pro-life presidential candidate Rick Santorum had love affair with abortion doctor 40 years her senior... who delivered her as baby. Damnit that's fucking awesome!
- Colbert almost makes Super PACs worthwhile.
- Finally, I leave you with this dead on quote from David Brook's op-ed earlier in the week:
I sometimes wonder if the Republican Party has become the receding roar of white America as it pines for a way of life that will never return.
Sometimes I actually want to get old so I can point and laugh at everyone I know who's currently on the wrong side of history and scream "I told you so!" It's a good thing I'll never get there, because I would be the world's most annoying old man.
Posted 10:31am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 18th , 2012
We're black today as we stand behind our internet brethren like Google, Wikipedia and Reddit in opposition of SOPA and PIPA. For background info, here's Adam Savage's explanation of these bills and why they are worth spending time and energy opposing. We encourage you to sign Google's petition if for no other reason, it pisses off Rupert Murdoch. Cheers.
Posted 9:31am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 17th , 2012
- That "Eeeeeeeeeeee!" you heard was me listening to the new Craig Finn solo album, which is available to stream from NPR. For those of you who could give a shit, this will mostly cap our Craig Finn coverage until the new Hold Steady album comes out at the end of the year.
- And since you can't have one of the BDGF's boyfriends without the other, here's Jack White buying a dead elephant head on a show called American Pickers, which I assume is something old people watch between that show about the pawn shop and episodes of Bill O'Reilly.
- For those of you who ever worshiped at the alter of 90's pseudo-punk, prepare to shed a tear, as Lookout! Records finally shuttered its doors. THey got plenty of my money over the years publishing Ted Leo albums, so I bid you a fond adieu, regardless of how I feel about Operation Ivy.
- Speaking of Teddy, here he is being interviewed by ABC News of all people. I haven't seen Ted Leo live in ages (OK, solo last year in L.A., but I need a full show with the Pharmacists, damn it!) so him being interviewed by the big time media is a good sign.
- New single releases that bode well for some sweet new albums: Nada Surf's "Waiting for Something" and Ezra Furman's "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde".
- Finally, Tom Brady (for the second time in two months) once again killed the Tim Tebow = Jesus meme last Sunday. You're welcome, humanity. That doesn't mean we can't say goodbye with Jimmy Fallon doing TeBowie.
Posted 10:51am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 16th , 2012
A key provision in the accord that the BDGF and I signed when realized we were going to try and make this work was that I promised to be around for a minimum of 30 years. Not in a limited, non-exclusive contract sort of way, but that I was going to live for at least that long. Getting to 65 may be a no-brianer for most of you out there not living in the third world, but it wasn't necessarily a guarantee on my part. With my offspring rapidly approaching adulthood I was quite content with my original plan to drink with reckless abandon and let the chips fall where they may. This is apparently not a desirable trait in a life mate.
Add in some ugly family history, my fair skin and myriad other things I participate in not associated with longevity, and it turns out that even a promise isn't enough assurance. In a move of caring placation, I am headed to the Doctor this afternoon to get checked out. I told the BDGF that if she made the appointment and told them exactly what she wanted done* I'd submit to being poked and prodded. Am I worried? Not really. I'm still relatively young. I'm not overweight and I feel great. I don't expect my liver to hold out so that I see triple digits, but I'm guessing we're not in permanent damage territory yet either.
Actually I expect to go in there and get told what I always get told: he'd like to see me drink less but won't make a compelling argument as to why. With perfect blood pressure, cholesterol barely above 200 and whatever enzymes they look at to make sure my liver is still functioning (and really, how could it not be?) I should be able to kick the ball down the road at least another ten years, right? I mean let's all hope so, because a promise is a promise, but that was one in which I assumed I was going to live forever when I made it.
- The good news? More evidence that pot isn't really bad for you after all. So I suppose that if I ever have to pull back on the reigns, there's my out.
- The bad news? Turns out red wine doesn't really have all of those redemptive qualities that got people so excited. I'm guessing it's still better for you than rum, so there's that.
- The ultimate reason to stick it out? Seniors out drink everyone. And I'm not talking about those about to graduate, I'm talking AARP card carryin', Price is Right watchin' septuagenarians. Ain't no party like a nursin' home party... until someone breaks a hip.
*sans prostate.
Posted 10:59am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 13th , 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment
- I love movie trailers. God help you if we are going to the movies and you make us late thus missing even one of the trailers before the actual film*. It's part of the filmgoing experience. And while watching trailers on the internet while you are alone in your office is not nearly the transcendent experience of sitting in a darkened theater ramming popcorn into your maw and slurping a spiked Diet Coke, it can still be emotionally satisfying. Take this trailer for the new Wes Anderson movie, which is exactly what I want my childhood to retroactively be like, and this trailer for the LCD Soundsystem documentary, which is want I want the rest of my life to be like all the time always.
- Speaking of movies, this is a super fun 1970s A to Z movie quiz. Don't scroll down too far, as the answers are below. N threw me at first and then I had a 'duh' moment.
- College football is over for another year so those of you who could give two shits can rejoice in the fact that I won't bring up again until August. Right after this, that is: How fucking awesome is it that after winning 10 games, including a bowl victory, all little brother wants to talk about is waaaaah waaaaah but Michigan? And that's why you'll always be Little Brother.
- These 25 best autocorrects made me laugh out loud, and super glad that texting and my parents never co-existed.
-Finally, Sunday night are the Golden Globes, bringing together three of my favorite things: movies, atheism and award shows. OK that's a stretch. I don't especially even care about award shows and the Golden Globes are only about atheism in the sense that Ricky Gervais is hosting. For the last three weeks I've made the declarative statement 'I am going to the movies this weekend.' to no one in particular, and I am currently batting 0-3. I said it again yesterday, and I guess what I am telling you is that Sunday night's Golden Globes are a decent substitute for going to the movies.
* Exception for kids movies, wherein all of the trailers will make me fear for the future of humanity
Posted 10:51am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 12th , 2012
What's making Baby Jesus cry this week?
- Some wacky pastor in Texas is planning on spending 24 hours in bed on top of a church to promote healthy sexual relationships within marriage. Which, you know, sounds like a mostly harmless misappropriation of an old John Lennon trope, until you realize that it's not surprisingly penis/vagina only, at which point fuck you.
- Here's a nice timeline of where Baby Jesus has and hasn't been spending his time. Tim Tebow must have a kickass fooseball table or something, because he hangs out with the dude a lot.
- Apparently Satan is giddy that American religious cult leaders like Joel Osteen aren't decrying Romney for being Mormon? I can't even begin to want to untangle that rubric.
- Yooooo Hooooooo! I live in the Sixth Gayest City in America! Who wants to go shopping for leather pants?
- I mention the gay thing because the Pope is back calling gay marriage a "threat to the future of humanity" in an obvious attempt to leech other religion's disciples by out-homophobing them. Sadly, it may work.
- When the BDGF's littlest wanted to join Brownies, we had to do some quick Google searching to make sure that they weren't in league with the Boy Scouts on the whole gay=evil thing. We read enough to give it a green light, but this little girl had the opposite reaction, specifically to transgender girl scouts. I get being scared of penises, but how does it affect your ability to get a merit badge for making a house out of popsicle sticks?
- Finally, I think people find religion comforting both in times of need and for the fact that trying to understand the science behind the history of the planet is neigh on impossible given it's six billion year existence. Like, if the history of the Earth is a 24 hour clock, humans show up at 11:58pm. It's much easier to just imagine God sculpting us out of clay, isn't it?
Posted 3:48pm
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 11th , 2012
Wednesdays are for politickin'
- So the primary season kicked off in earnest yesterday, and this Onion headline pretty much says it all. You're all-but-certain nominee and frontrunner for the last two years manages less than 40%. Meh. Feel free to stay on the couch, it's probably going to play out like this barring all of the crazies dropping out and rallying behind Huntsman, in which case we get to play a game of "Who seems less Mormon-y?"
- After engaging in one of the dumbest tirades against education I've ever heard and then tying Newt Gingrich in New Hampshire with a limp 9.4% of the vote, let us take a moment to eulogize Rick Santorum's presidential bid. I'll be honest, it got more traction than I ever thought possible. I choose to see this as a reflection of Romney being a huge skeev rather than a barometer for the mood of the country, but that's just me. Let us send out the man synonymous with frothy ass juice with a slideshow of the one sartorial choice made only by cheating college football coaches who look like child molesters and homophobic Catholics who fear both Iran's theocracy AND Obama's secular government: the sweatervest.
- I know I just spent two paragraphs making jokes about our feckless primaries, but I implore you to watch this video explaining the process. Even if you're sure you have it all laid out, just as a refresher. Better yet, show it to your children. Lord knows my teenagers need to see it.
- Good news in gay! New Jersey is fast tracking a bill to legalize gay marriage (that will be likely vetoed by Senior Largess himself) and Washington State's push towards equality gets an endorsement from a Republican Senator. His name is Steve Litzow and he notes
I am a traditional Republican. When you think about gay marriage, it’s the right thing to do and it’s very consistent with the tenets of being a Republican — such as individual freedom and personal responsibility.
He is awesome and I would love to buy him a drink for having the courage to not only stand for his convictions but do so in such a cogent fashion.
- SOPA is not dead yet people. There are rumors that major opponents of the bill are coordinating a blackout on their sites to raise awareness of the bill. Think people would notice if Google and Facebook went down for a few hours? Reddit has already sacked up. Meanwhile, if one of your representatives is on this list of supporters, give them a call and tell them to get their shit together.
- Finally, I'd like to leave you with two quotes from my favorite President:
The essence of any struggle for healthy liberty has always been, and must always be, to take from some one man or class of men the right to enjoy power, or wealth, or position, or immunity, which has not been earned by service to his or their fellows. That is what you fought for in the Civil War, and that is what we strive for now... We grudge no man a fortune in civil life if it is honorably obtained and well used. It is not even enough that it should have been gained without doing damage to the community. We should permit it to be gained only so long as the gaining represents benefit to the community.
This, I know, implies a policy of a far more active governmental interference with social and economic conditions in this country than we have yet had, but I think we have got to face the fact that such an increase in governmental control is now necessary.
That's noted socialist and Republican president Teddy Roosevelt. Call him weak. I dare you.
Too much cannot be said against the men of wealth who sacrifice everything to getting wealth. There is not in the world a more ignoble character than the mere money-getting American, insensible to every duty, regardless of every principle, bent only on amassing a fortune, and putting his fortune only to the basest uses —whether these uses be to speculate in stocks and wreck railroads himself, or to allow his son to lead a life of foolish and expensive idleness and gross debauchery, or to purchase some scoundrel of high social position, foreign or native, for his daughter. Such a man is only the more dangerous if he occasionally does some deed like founding a college or endowing a church, which makes those good people who are also foolish forget his real iniquity. These men are equally careless of the working men, whom they oppress, and of the State, whose existence they imperil. There are not very many of them, but there is a very great number of men who approach more or less closely to the type, and, just in so far as they do so approach, they are curses to the country.
I wonder if TR would still think that there are not very many of these men. They seem to be everywhere if you ask me.
Posted 11:59am
permalink - comments (2)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 10th , 2012
- Hold Steady frontman Craig Finn is rapidly approaching the release date of his solo debut Clear Heart Full Eyes, out 1/24 on Vagrant. You can hear the new track "New Friend Jesus" here, or for the BDGF, here's him performing "Jackson" over at the AV Club's One Track Mind again.
- Wilco's new album is great and you should go back and listen to it again, because you've clearly forgotten that. While you're at it, you can watch Jeff Tweedy do the weather, and then watch Wilco AND Nick Lowe AND Mavis Staples cover the band. It's as awesome as it sounds.
- If you need another reason to love the Black Keys, here's them dissing Nickelback, who should clearly be made to suck it.
- Jack White's latest team up: Tom Jones.
- Remember when they used advertise albums on TV? Man, we are old. But even I was surprised they did it for Nirvana.
- Album covers minus the dead guys.
- Finally, there was a time in my life (from about 1985-1988) where Van Halen meant everything to me. Eventually I transitioned to Led Zeppelin and then finally to grunge, where the seed of the music snob that types before you today was planted. But my first obsession was Van Halen. Hearing those songs takes me back to being 10 years old and wanting to do nothing but sit in my room and listen to Eddie play guitar as loud as my stereo from Sears would allow. That being said, I have zero desire to pay $50 to sit a mile away in some giant corporate stadium and watch them go through the motions because they are broke. Now the NYTimes gave a glowing review of their industry preview show, and Chuck K predictable calls the VH reunion incredibly, insanely, undeniably awesome, and if I saw them in a tiny club for free I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same. But watch their new video for their new song and tell me you feel compelled to participate in this.
Posted 11:50am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 9th , 2012
Apples and anal retentive trees.
I didn't grow up in a house like Cameron Frye, but a certain sense of order and expectation of cleanliness was imbued in all of the Brubaker children. My mother was in a constant state of stemming the tide of sticky, haphazard children, admonishing those who didn't pick up after themselves and spending most Sunday mornings cleaning the house top to bottom. My father would contemplatively try to remain above the fray, silently repeating his mantra of "they're only children" to himself over and over until he'd snap and take all of the shoes left here and there around the house and place them on the front porch under a sign that read "Shoes for sale". True story.
I like to say that I got the least of the anal retentive gene/indoctrination of all of my siblings, but to the outside world that's like discussing which Kardashian is the least whore-ish. Moot point. I need order. I crave cleanliness. Watching someone carelessly leave a mess about - even with the caveat of noting "I'll clean it up later" - is akin to walking into my home and taking off The Beatles to put on Coldplay while making out with my sister. I don't know how people get through the day knowing that there's piles of months old magazines laying about in their living rooms, or sleep at night with a sink full of dishes, but apparently to some people these are not sins much less an affront to all that is good and decent in the world.
And while we were raised to be neat, we were also raised relatively poor. That's of course hyperbolic in that we weren't poor at all, but my mother could stretch a nickel farther than any two people I know. We rarely got extravagances like going out to dinner, so the idea of having a cleaning lady would have been right up there with putting the family on a plane to go on vacation out of state. These are pipe dreams of the rich and famous. So when I moved in with the BDGF and found out that she had a woman come and clean the house for an hour every other week, I was caught in a paradox.
On the one hand, I get to walk in the front door of our home once every fortnight and everything smells of bleach and is in its rightful place. If I could do this with a drink in my hand it would the most peaceful, stress free moment of my existence. Of course this service costs money, which means paying someone to do something that I could easily do myself. That's a no-no. My initial attempts to alleviate this cognitive dissonance involved me traipsing around the house pointing out all of the deficiencies in our cleaning lady's technique. I then tried to offer for the BDGF to pay me half what she pays her to do the same job. Lucky for me the BDGF is benevolent and laughs off my specific level of OCD. Instead we (I) have arrived at a compromise where I furiously arrange the house the night prior to the cleaning lady's arrival to ensure we get our maximum value during her hour. In short, I clean before the cleaning lady comes. And yet I still maintain my anal retentiveness pales in comparison to the rest of my clan's. Believe it.
Posted 11:59am
permalink - comments (1)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 6th , 2012
What's making Baby Jesus cry this week?
- My family has a general, non-spoken agreement to not talk about politics or religion, mostly (at least in my mind) because I go down the rabbit hole into condescending prick far too quickly. Well there was a moment of unintentional panic when my baby brother mentioned that somebody said that the founding fathers weren't religious and I started to explain what it means to be a Deist. The BDGF shot me a look like I was willfully violating the prime directive and first rule of fight club in one simultaneous shot, so it go dropped. In my family, the mere stating of facts can be too much. So for Bertrum C. Bertrum, here's the truth from a third party. God Bless America.
- After Hitch passed away a few weeks back, #GodisNotGreat started trending on twitter. Here's some of the best "turn the other cheek" reactions you'd expect from the followers of Baby Jesus.
- I don't generally get upset by nativity scenes. I usually can find one anachronistic thing about them to make fun of and laugh at. This guy, not so much. Love the TJ quote though.
- Alas, Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann's presidential run hit an iceberg in Iowa this week. This means that will be deprived of out first First Husband and his agenda of Homophobia. Methinks thou dost... awww you know what, that fruit is so low hanging it's on the ground.
- Pro-tip: If you're some random Christian Fundamentalist on twitter, you probably don't want to get in a war of words with Ricky Gervais. Just sayin'...
- Finally, I have to admit that I almost abandoned my atheism, belief in Darwinism and evolution, and certitude that the earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old when I read this. Luckily I didn't panic and remembered by elementary school lessons about the water cycle and the fact that all the water that's ever been on the Earth is still here and that amount basically never changes. Whew! That was close...
Posted 11:09am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 5th , 2012
Oh Iowa. Your caucus system is woefully outdated and its placement at the head of our political process is specious at best. The thought of the millions of dollars being thrown around your state trying to influence a bunch of elderly rubes and the subsequent influence that process can have frankly sickens me.
Take your 2012 imbroglio. You've taken time out to give momentary credence to Michelle Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich and now Rick Santorum. Rick Santorum! The one non-Mormon I was sure would never get his day in the sun. Rick Santorum! I mean Google it! Rick Santorum! A man so sexually pent up and confused he doesn't believe in non-reproductive sex within the confines of marriage. He thinks birth control should be illegal! Do you guys hate Mormons that much?
Look, I know at the end of the day you picked the inevitable nominee by a whole 8 votes. And I suppose you still get a pass for the momentum you gave Obama in 2008. But you either need to get a special system for your evangelicals where they can vote for the Pope of "we're scared of the places our bathing suits cover", or lay down your sword. Now the country will go back to forgetting you exist for four years. I said good day sir.
- This is all a moot point I suppose, as I've been saying for over a year now that the GOP doesn't have anyone to run that can beat Obama short of the economy turning into an absolute tire fire, and that doesn't appear to be happening. Healthcare reform has numerous positive aspects and he's sacked up and appointed a head to Consumer Protection Bureau during the recess. John McCain can yell all he wants about leading from behind while the President shrugs his shoulders and says "Libya bin Laden". Even with the Republicans resigning themselves to the sanest candidate of the bunch, this is going to be fun.
- Finally, Senator Bernie Sanders is proposing a constitutional amendment to overturn the back assward Citizens United decision. I implore you to sign the petition. The Montana State Supreme Court can't do this all by themselves.
Posted 11:01am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 3rd , 2012
5 innocuous things that are making me happy in and around the present moment
Editors note: The holidays were grand. Too grandiose to do justice here in any sort of summary post. Was there merriment? Of course. Was there seldom seen friends? Thankfully. Was there vomit? Copious amounts. But we are now living in 2012. The past is prologue! Except for this stuff...
- Mittenfest! You've probably been reading tbaggervance.com long enough to know about this annual music festival that supports 826 Michigan. It was another banner year for my enjoyment, but more importantly, this year's festivities raised over $20,000 for our student programs. I only wish I could of gone and drank MORE Captain and Diets, but that would have been impossible.
- Hopefully you are already aware of the government's latest attempt to ruin the internet, this time in the form of the Stop Online Piracy Act, or SOPA. If you need to know why this (and the Protect IP Act) are truly terrible, internet-ruining pieces of legislation, Adam Savage of Mythbusters sums it up quite succinctly. If you need to know which multinational conglomerates are propping up this horrible bill (and who's got your back) your boycott list is readily available.
- Our Christmas morning was very vinyl-centric, with the BDGF and I trading celebrity crush records (her getting wax by Craig Finn and Jack White, and I receiving the lovely visage of Neko Case). Since I am overly generous (and also nurse my own Craig Finn crush) here he is promoting his new record AND talking about and performing a new song on the AV Club's One Track Mind.
- Tonight, 2011 is finally wrapped as Michigan takes on Virginia Tech in the Sugar Bowl. I am nervous and excited and kind of can't believe that I agreed to come into work today. Bowl games are often seen as launching pads for the following season, so not only will people be watching tonight to put a bow on a fairly glorious 2011, but to see how much however undeserved hype will be placed on this team prior to next fall's version taking the field. Here's a write up on defensive God Greg Mattison in the NYTimes. My prediction for the game: M 35 VT 24. Go Blue.
- Finally, we moved! Hopefully you didn't notice, but if you bookmarked our old URL, you'll need to point your browsers to tbaggervance.com for now and ever more. Again, since this is now costing me money you may see an ad or two. For those of you behind government or corporate firewalls, you can now enjoy the site from your computers rather than your phones. And yes, I know the comments are down at the moment, but if you find any other maladies, please let me know so that I may tend to them. Otherwise, enjoy our new diggs, which are exactly the same as our old ones. xoxo...
Posted 10:55am
permalink - comments
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------